Quick! We need to bail out the Super Bowl!

I mean, after all, the crisis is IMMINENT, and the damage to our nation will be HUGE if we don't act NOW!

However, there are just a few minor changes that we MUST insist on first.

Here's the most important of those changes, regardless of the place it occupies on the writer's list.

2. No injured player will be permitted to receive medical treatment on the field. Instead, he or she will submit a Request for Medical Treatment Authorization (RFMTA) to Health and Human Services Secretary Daschle.

If a tax-deductible "Dasch-PAC" contribution is attached, the player might be scheduled for treatment as early as 2011. Secretary Daschle will point out that the RFMTA also can be submitted conveniently over the Internet, along with a credit card number for the voluntary contribution. That could speed the processing to mid-2011, rather than late 2011

All the better to prepare the public for ObamaCare, I'm sure.